Success or failure? What are your teenage sons grades?

William Butler Yeats, a poet, said, “Education is not filling a bucket, it is lighting a fire.”

What I think he means is that education or learning is something we should enjoy and be passionate about, having a “fire” or sincere interest for what the topic is we are learning. But sometimes grades get in the way of learning and it seems like traditional schools focus more on grades, exam scores and getting into college.

Is your son actually learning and exploring ideas or is he just trying to get a good grade to get into college?

“According to Alfie Kohn from his New York Times article, “students suffer intellectually as well as psychologically because the pressure to succeed academically leaves little room for exploring ideas. (Achieving is very different from learning.) For another thing, this destructive pattern doesn’t stop when kids get to college.

Gambling a child’s love of learning in the hopes of acceptance at an extremely selective college is a bet that no rational parent should take.”

Alfie Kohn continues to say, “The solution, I think, is twofold: Reconsider our attitudes about success (and long-term goals for our children); and change the school policies that create or exacerbate the problem.

Many parents push their kids with the best of intentions, but some are so busy basking in the reflected glory of their children’s accomplishments that they overlook the damage being done by ....

To read the full article go to ... Teenagesons.com